Lindsay and the Coex Mall

Doesn’t that sound like a nice story for children? “Lindsay and the Coex Mall by Jon Ordog, illustrated by Eric Carle” (because I SAID SO!). Well, if you don’t know me, or you don’t know Lindz, or you don’t know us, we are pretty much the most sickeningly sweet couple you can imagine. I don’t think that is true, per se, but my coworkers and most everybody we know has told us that repeatedly. Why did I tell you that? Because I am secure in being a “whipped bitch” as it was so kindly explained to me one day by an esteemed associate of mine. Plus, if it’s on the Internet, it’s true.

Now, Lindz loves animals. She loves aquariums, zoos, nature, and anything where she can see/touch/imagine/play with animals. As the World’s Best Boyfriend (not just self-anointed, that title is), I couldn’t very well drag her over here without taking her to an aquarium. “BUT, JON!” you scream at the screen in front of you, “THE POST SAYS ‘LINDSAY AND THE COEX MALL! NOT COEX AQUARIUM!” First of all, have you ever heard the term ‘don’t kill the messenger?’ Then stop yelling at a screen, it solves nothing and hurts its feelings. And B: Yes, doofus. It does say Coex Mall because the aquarium is inside the mall. Well, don’t you look foolish? I thought so. But we can still be friends because I am a forgiving sort. Just don’t try my patience further.

So, Lindz and I went up to Seoul to show her the big city, go to the aquarium, taste Seoul’s nightlife, and enjoy some International spice in our lives. It was an incredible weekend and one I greatly enjoyed. I won’t post too many pictures lest I bore you to death, but the following should suffice.

I talk with the fish. For I am of them and we know our own.

Korean animals are more badass than American ones.

Snooty Fish

This lizard was… august and regal.

Cutest thing there…

River otters! They be so happy!

Yes, I took this photo, no it is not altered. I’m that good.

The most majestic of ancient creatures (but it totally reminds me of Donkey Kong on Game Boy)

They even had manatees!

Underwater tunnel! So cool!

Boom! Pretty exciting stuff! I think one of the most interesting aspects of the whole experience was how none of the Koreans understood the concept of patience. It was a pell-mell rush to press ugly children against the glass while simultaneously trying to snap pictures with their cameras. True, this is just how the country seems to operate in all areas of life, but it was just slightly more irritating when trying to get a shot of Lindz sans Korean children. It never got to the point where I wanted to pick up one of the kids and throw them into the live electric eel tank (I promise). A pretty good afternoon considering the aquarium cost roughly $20 to get in and we went through the whole thing in around 2 hours. By the way, the Coex Mall is huge. It has hundreds of stores, the aquarium, and too much stuff to see all at once. Really, all we needed was the aquarium and the subway because…

It was off to enjoy the evening with Heather, Lindsey, and Erin! So we hopped on the subway, headed to the Hongik University area (also known as Hongdae) and hit the bars!

A glowing Gin and Tonic reprise…

You know the night starts well if you need to “Get a Room…”

This is Lindsey’s cumshot

Agwa liquer (made from coca leaves) and Red Bull. a.k.a. Agwa Bomb.

What a fun night! So much excitement! Ah, you don’t want to hear about more partying in Seoul, that’s already been covered here.

Surprise! Special double feature: I’ll tell you about when Lindz and I went to the zoo, too! All animals are the same, right? Well, a couple weekends after Seoul, I still wanted to show Lindz to the few things that Cheongju has to offer. Specifically, there are three things to do/see in Cheongju: the fortress, the zoo, and the bus terminal (get it? It’s what gets you out of the city!). In all seriousness, there are several other things to see – like the Jikji museum and several other seasonal sports events – but those were not available. So, we went to the zoo. I must say, I was quite saddened by the living conditions of some of these animals. You know it is bad if I’m saddened. Lindz was downright depressed, what with her “sensitivity” and “empathy” and all those characteristics a healthy, functioning society classifies as the best it has to offer. I’m only including one tough picture, simply for illustrative purposes:

Zoo layout!

Bare concrete, steel wire cage, almost no water, and nothing to play with… except for what the Koreans would throw at the poor creature.

Haha. It’s so damn literal.

“It’s a jackal! It’s a jackal! It’s a jackal! Is it a jackal? It’s a jackal! It’s a jackal! It’s a jackal! Is it a jackal? It’s a jackal! It has to be a jackal!”

I hate this picture (because I look horrendous), but I can’t resist. She just looks so good!

So the zoo was lovely and it was a nice quiet afternoon. There were exotic birds, exotic big cats (not a one of which peed on Lindz either!), dogs, a wolf (!), some monkeys, and some bears. It was no where near as impressive as even the Roger Williams Park Zoo, or the NC Zoo, and it definitely made me appreciate American zoos a lot more. To be fair, whereas it costs $15-30 to go to most American zoos, the Cheongju Zoo only ran about $1.25 (kid price was like 50 cents). Can’t do much with those funds…

So that pretty much sums up Lindz’s trip here. We went to the aquarium (awesome), went to Seoul (awesome), saw the Cheongju local flavor (meh), and enjoyed each other’s company for as much as we could stand in our short month together. I’m not going to tell you everything we did (you don’t need to know how many movies and TV shows we watched), but I will say that I make a damn good breakfast in bed:

Dragon fruit-clementine-kiwi fruit salad, french toast, and scrambled eggs. A steaming cup of Lavender tea to complement.

Sorry to have bored you, I seem to have broken my promise. Oh well, you’ll get over yourself/skipped all the text and just looked at the pictures. That’s perfect because it’s like a normal conversation with me anyways! Har! Thanks for suffering through this and I’ll try to be better next time!