Haesindang Park

That is a stone penis with ‘Haesindang Park” carved into the shaft. Yes, this is Korea.

A.K.A. Penis Park.

On Easter weekend I went for quite the enjoyable trip to Eastern ROK for some fun at the Haesindang park. Joining Lindsey, Lindsey’s visiting friend Tom, Heather, Behlen, and her friend Candice, I went to Donghae to experience another city, see the Haesindang park, and perhaps stay the night in a jjim-jil bang. I was quite excited because I actually had seen Haesindang in a Cracked article I read a few weeks before my flight (It’s #3). Now, for those of you who want to know all of the gory details:

There is a legend in the city of Sinnam, South Korea that there was once a young couple soon to marry. However, one day while the woman was out picking seaweed (or doing something on a rock in the ocean, the accounts differ), a strong storm came and killed her before her soon-to-be-husband’s eyes. Soon after, the local fishing industry began to wither – which was blamed on the dead woman’s vengeful spirit. As any logical and in no way simply-blubbering-for-an-excuse-for-his-heinous-crime-when-caught-by-the-police man would, an upstanding gentleman/fisherman masturbated into the sea and the fish returned. It was about that time people made the conclusion that the spirit must have been appeased by the offering – something she hadn’t had in life. So, instead of having scores of men make a penis-pilgrimage to Sinnam for public play, they simply created a bunch of phallic objects in a park by the sea and emphatically stated that these objects are “same-same” in pleasing the spirit. Hooray penis statues!

Noraebong on a train?! Oh yeah!

Before you get to see any more pictures, I want to start with some foreplay. To get to the city where we would begin our exploration, we had to take a train. This was my first time on a Korean train! So excited. I was not disappointed. As you can see, that is a noraebong booth on the train. Sure, it only sits two people and everyone in the snack car can hear you, but that’s what life is about! Oh, and the snack car is totally chill with selling you alcohol you can drink back in your seat. Not sure if you can do that in America since I rarely go on trains back home, but seriously. Get on that. Everyone would ride trains more often if they were like Korean trains (and if America was the size of Korea and had a nationally subsidized railroad service… oh wait).

Well, after an awesome 4 hour train ride, we finally got to Donghae (which still makes me laugh – a penis park near donghae! GAH!). It turns out that the park is nowhere near Donghae, so we had to take several buses and wait several more hours, during which the anticipation continued to rise unabated. Finally, full of emotion and expectant of our momentous release, we made it to the park. We got to see so many things and very artistically interpreted penises. Here, let me show you mine (you don’t have to reciprocate).

The first dicks of the day.

Penis benches for your reclining pleasure.

Even their trees start in the phallic form.

Chinese Zodiac ensconced in penises.

Lindsey and Heather enjoying a crouching penis (where’s the dragon?)

Lindsey helps tell the legend

That dog sure is creepy… a stern warning about man’s best friend seeing all.

Weird.

The artistic creations stand at attention overlooking the harbor

A cannon. I thought you only cocked pistols and rifles…

Lindsey and Heather straddling a bronze phallus with a Korean in the middle

Penis wind chimes.

Penis fence-posts and the shrine where you can leave suggestive offerings to the spirit.

That rock in the distance is where she died.

So that’s the park! Of course we were making dick jokes and sexual innuendos the whole time. It was quite the pleasant 1.5 hour experience.

After the park, we headed back to Donghae for some noraebong and drinking with Heather’s friend Mike who lives in Donghae and some of his friends. It was a great time had by all. To cap it all off, we spent Easter evening in a jjim-jil bang. Or, as Lindsey said: a jimmy-bang. It’s basically a combination hostel and spa where you pay 7 or 8 bucks, get a change of clothes and a locker. Then you strip down and go into some saunas or hot tubs (naked, divided by gender) where you relax. Or, if you are Korean, throw one leg up on a chair and use a hair dryer on your nether regions. Because that is what everyone wants to see(especially still drunk at 9AM on Easter morning): you airing your wrinkly, saggy, manhood and friends. After that, you change into the given shorts and shirt and go sleep on the floor in a windowless room with around 100 of your never-met best friends who snore like demons. Yay. I’m glad I did it, because it was an experience, but it probably isn’t going to happen again.

The next day we went to the Muryeung Valley. It is the self-titled “Grand Canyon” of Korea. However, as the Muryeung Valley is a valley, not a canyon, is not in the desert, and is much smaller, I fail to see the comparison. The reason we went to the valley is to engage in a nice, leisurely stroll to a Buddhist temple:

A nice stream to walk beside.

This rock in the middle of the stream was imprinted with Hanja characters (Sino-Korean writing).

Artsy pic of the wall.

The main part of the temple.

Buddhist bells are awesome.

Not a bad trip. I don’t think the temple was any different from the 101 others, but it was nice to see and a good place to just reflect on Easter. After that, we got back on a train and headed home to Cheongju! Woohoo! Success!